I woke up in a dream, a long time ago
A rare one
One where I wasn’t paralyzed, terrified
Or being yelled at by random people
Just a normal dream.
I was in my family’s old house
Those hideous cherry red walls I loved so much
Were all I needed to see
Not everything was the same of course
The scenery was off
Amalgamations of furniture I remember
Pieced together into something almost unrecognizable
But it was like seeing an old friend
Coat hangers and dinner plates I remember, but in the wrong places
Blurry pictures on the wall.
It’s amusing, watching your brain try to remember something precious
Even if it doesn’t get very close sometimes
My family wasn’t there
I was living with the woman I love
But I knew my family wasn’t far away
(Seeing as I was in my hometown again.)
An impossible place where old and new met, at last
I had never felt so warm
The woman I love left a basket full of apples on the counter
With a note addressed to me
Written in inks of many different colors
I don’t think there was any underlying psychological reason it was apples.
Just a lovely thing
Already overflowing with joy
I realized I was standing in my family’s old kitchen
Black paint peeling off our sink’s faucet and everything.
There was a window here, I remembered
So I looked to my right and there it was
My backyard, draped in a delicate sunset
Every inch touched by blankets of orange and red
Everything in its right place
A rusty sundial, tinted further red by the sanguine rays falling upon it
The old shed, full of pool noodles and fertilizer
Speckled with shadows of the branches above
Flaking stucco onto the ground below
The zinnias I had planted with my mother
And her snapdragons
In full bloom
Even the toys I used to run around with
Caught in that brilliant glimmer of saffron
Right before sundown
I suppose I left them there, running inside for dinner.
Most strikingly, though
The wall of Russian Olive trees I adored.
Swaying peacefully as always
Bathing in dandelion light
I remembered how I used to climb them and squish the fuzzy things that really looked nothing like olives
In my little fingers
I stood there for what could have been seconds
Or an eternity
However long
it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen
I woke up
And sat, in the afterglow of it all
It quickly faded
I looked out the window of the apartment I had been stolen away to
Snow
I started crying
It had been a while since I last cried
I would give anything in the world
For just one more second in that dream